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I'm thy Olde Gamer. And I present to you, the Fate of Gaming. I present to you... my fate. Generated 10 times by the Fate Machine, the most incredible tool in gaming.

I am Michael Lardmachine, the moronic samurai. And my destiny is to lead 20 bears at once.

I am Baby-faced Elm, the vegan wizard. And my destiny is to slapfight with Alaska.

I am Good old Illpallazzo, the Genius Tiger. And my destiny is to get my sex organs replaced with the British Empire.

I am Nigger Loli, the booze-snorting spammer. And my destiny is to tick off cows.

I am Jeremy Marki, the really bored toaster. And my destiny is to betray the hopes of the Pentagon.

I am Pinkie American Hero, the jimmy-rustling Terror. And my destiny, is to show my dick to the FBI.

I am Poopie Megatron, the bloodthirsty retard. And my destiny is to seduce a dozen Saiyans.

I am Nutcrust Hairy Butt, the unstoppable drug addict. And my destiny is to turn cheese into weirdos.

I am Nameless Wily, the sexiest gladiator. And my destiny is to role-play North Korea.

I am Mario Azuka, the idiotic Dictator. And my destiny is to challenge Ron Hubbard.

Which fate shall be the one? What is your fate... What are your fates? Trolls, to your Fate Machine. Artists, to your pencils. Thy destiny is only yours to be chosen.

Recent Game Medals

Completed 25 Points Finish the game Medal Stats.
Bash the Boar 25 Points Fight the Boss in ACT II Medal Stats.
Mass Destruction 25 Points Kill over 100 Gnomes Medal Stats.
ACT I 10 Points Complete Act I Medal Stats.
AAAARRG!! 5 Points Kill 10 Gnomes while enraged Medal Stats.
Meet the Mage Master 5 Points Fight the Boss in ACT I Medal Stats.
Power Kill 10 Points Kill a Gnome in one hit Medal Stats.
Destruction 5 Points Kill over 50 Gnomes Medal Stats.
Warm Up 5 Points Complete the Tutorial Level Medal Stats.
SECRET MEDAL 10 Points Unlock this medal to see it's details. Medal Stats.

Total Medals Earned: 696 (From 85 different games.)